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Newbie 988 — Apocalypse
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Intro
The year is 2023. Following the collapse of both the E.U. and the U.N. in 2011 and the annihilation of global terrorism in 2013, the United States of America resumed it's post as dominant global superpower. As you all know, however, inefficient leadership, economic crisis, the disintegration of basic morals, and waves of hatred and paranoia rotted the great nation from within. By 2015, the United States had decayed to a nothing more than a patchwork of squabbling states who's entire armed forces had mysteriously failed to return from the invasion of Ireland in October of 2014, leaving armed citizens hastily organized into ragtag state militias as petty wars broke out between at least 30 states. As tension mounted between the Original States(48 contiguous, Hawaii, Alaska, and Cuba) and the Dependent Territories(in title only. In reality, they were no different from states), hatred and paranoia gripped the people. In January, 2018, Russia, England, Scottish America(Scotland, to you old-timers), Germany, and Whales revolted against America. Search and rescue operations were still underway to locate the lost military forces. The fact that America's entire military force had deserted or had just gotten lost, was, either way a great embarrassment. Thus, the militias were sent to deal with the rebels, through superior numbers, a lack of honor abhorrent even in this day and age, and stunningly superior(*cough*stolen) technology, America reestablished near dictatorial rule over the rebellious countries, all except Whales, who remained free. Outrage and debate sweep the Original States while turmoil and oppression swelter in the Dependent Territories. Come 2020, Civil War II and World War III are found to be one and the same. One year after the war began, German and Japanese scientists successfully broke the encryption codes for U.S. Nuclear missile control computers and pointed the bombs toward American soil. The Original states quickly disengaged their minor entanglements and responded with a united front for the first time since the end of the Obama presidency. It was not to last. After crushing the Dependent Territories, they turned their nuclear weapons on each other, full of war-driven madness. With no formal military discipline, nobody really knew how to stop shooting. And so brings us to the present story. Among the few recognizable civilizations left, your small underground village has been infiltrated by ideological extremists who have been scavenging the surface, that desolate wasteland, for weapons. They have secretly redeveloped the firearm and plan to use this dangerous technology to take all the marshmallows for themselves. You must find them and eliminate them, for such noble causes as justice, freedom, and marshmallows!
Players
| Player | Role | Scene |
|---|---|---|
| Dekes | Doctor | Day 1 |
| yabbaguy | Townie | Night 1 |
| McGriddle | Townie | Day 2 |
| Adrien C | Townie | Night 2 |
| Beanman | Townie | Day 3 |
| tanstalas | Mafia Goon | survived |
| pacman281292 | Mafia Goon | survived |
| Fenhl | Townie | Endgame |
| Cliquey | Townie | Endgame |
Timeline
Day 1
pacman281292 replaces Makeorbreak
| D1 Final Vote Count | ||
|---|---|---|
| Votee | Count | Voters |
| Dekes | 5 | Adrien C, Cliquey, Beanman, Tanstalas, Tuxhedoh |
| McGriddle | 1 | yabbaguy |
| not voting | 3 | McGriddle, Pacman, Dekes |
In hushed tones, the nine members of your little band argued throughout the rest of the day, barely even breaking for dinner. You notice that they didn't actually stop for that. Accusations were exchanged in between bites. You even accused each other based on your manner of eating! But alas. Dinner was over. It was time to make your decision. As you led dekes toward the great crack in the center of the underground camp, the interrogation began. Despite his pleas, beanman insisted he was evil. As you held dekes over the crack which was the only opening to the magma-pits below, tuxhedoh shrugged and said laughingly, "Hey! You get to play your first game once!". "Do you not take this seriously?", shouted dekes. "Nope", replied tuxhedoh, then promptly shoved him in. The following explosion blasted up all manner of ash, debris, bones, but most importantly, dekes' wallet. Almost fearfully now, yabbaguy opened it. A little placard at the front read "Ph.D, Dekes. Graduate of the Post-Apocalypse University of Useless Knowledge Med School."
The charred skull seemed to be laughing at your foolery with it's expression. In a fit of rage, you kick it back over the edge. You look around at your remaining comrades, wondering which of them will be "sleeping in" tomorrow. And begin the long walk back.
Night 1
As you slowly open your eyes, you can already hear the sounds of the day at work. Shuffling of feet, clanking of pots and pans, clattering of tools and hushed discussion abound. As you rise slowly from your mat you see that yabbaguy was able to finish his cleanup duty last night before he was killed. You begin to get up and go towards the...wait, what? Killed? You whirl around to see yabbaguy's dead body staring up at you from his sleeping mat. Beside him is his empty wallet, covered in blood. You hurry off to chow to go tell the group. You don't think any of them will be very hungry though.
Day 2
| D2 Final Vote Count | ||
|---|---|---|
| Votee | Count | Voters |
| McGriddle | 4 | Beanman, Tanstalas, Adrien C, Pacman |
| Beanman | 2 | McGriddle, Cliquey |
| not voting | 1 | Tuxhedoh |
As you suspected, you found everyone bickering over breakfast. Seeing no need to sugarcoat it, you bluntly say, "yabbaguy is dead." Beanman and Cliquey, in the middle of a heated debate, glance at you, annoyed. Not particularly caring whether or not the others knew of the death you sat down to your meal. Fast forward several hours. You, beanman, pacman, and McGriddle were washing the dinnerware in the underground stream. As you handed off a wet plate for drying, you didn't notice that pacman had failed to take it until you tried to give him the next one. You looked up to see no one around. After walking downstream for a bit you found pacman shoving McGriddle's head under the current as he flailed helplessly. By the time you got back with the others, pacman was dragging his body out of the stream, searching his corpse. "Sorry guys. Nothing of interest. I got tired of doing the dishes. It was dragging on.", said pacman, as if drowning your fellow refugee was a perfectly logical and acceptable recourse from boredom. "What have you done!?", fumed Cliquey. "Exactly what I told him to", replied beanman, leaning against the cave wall a few feet away. As the words started to fly you started walking back, more than ready to turn in for the night.
Night 2
You were sleeping peacefully when, at precisely 0324 you woke up. Half asleep you wondered, why am I awake? What happened? For some reason, a part of your mind points out that there's a strange smell in the air. You decide to go back to sleep. Several hours later... "Wake up! Wake up!"
"I'm awake", you reply, "What is it?"
"It's yabbaguy. He's dead."
"Umm...yeah, I told you that yesterday. Is that all you woke me up for? It's still early."
"Well, adrien C is also dead, but if that doesn't bother you then go back to sleep."
"Surprisingly, it doesn't, actually. Good night."
Time enough for bickering in the morning, you thought to yourself.
Day 3
The scum, tanstalas and pacman, killed beanman and won.
| D3 Final Vote Count | ||
|---|---|---|
| Votee | Count | Voters |
| Beanman | 3 | Pacman, Beanman, Tanstalas |
| not voting | 2 | Cliquey, Fehnl |
Endgame
Good job scum, congratulations on your perfect win. Sorry about modding mistakes, scum, feel free to share your chat if you wish. This game is now over. Farewell and goodbye, I might remember a few of you if I see you.(I don't carry much sentimentality for a game where half the original players flaked out and scum won via enemy self-hammer in lylo. Or any game fore that matter.) Live happy lives, live long and prosper, yada yada yada.