User:Andycyca/If real life were like mafia...

I wanted a copy of the original forum thread here:

1. Then nobody would use secret ballots in elections, to preserve the citizen's right to punish people who vote the wrong way.
2. Doctors would wander the streets randomly instead of waiting in their clinics for patients to come to them.
3. Then nosy pensioners would be the greatest threat to organised crime.
4. The cop would arrest the vig for murder.
5. Masons wouldn't wear cool outfits, like they do now.
6. I'd be in the same timezone as everyone!
7. Mondays would be months long and thursdays would last 10 minutes.
8. People would die over a NO U chain.
9. Anix would sleep for 11hrs a day
10. I would have been NKed long ago.
11. Everyone would watch pumpkins with a very careful eye.
12. Serial killers would target the FBI.
13. psychologists would study cops to figure out if they're sane or not.
14. Headstones everywhere would read "Bah, Go Town!"
15. The game would be threatened by a mass flavor-claim due to a lack of safe claims.
16. Everybody in Texas would have a gun but only one bullet.
17. Then Glork and Fritz would have been NKed a long time ago.
18. New York City would have "Population: 40"
19. The game would fail because we don't have an mod.
    1. God would be the mod
20. Mutes (such as monks), would inexplicably either morph into someone else, or die.
21. Everyone would be given a handwritten note from God at their birth, which details exactly how evil they are, and how to win at life.
22. If anyone attempted to show someone else that note, they would inexplicably die.
23. Children would be told by adults to live in a town with 4 other children and 2 adults. There would be no-one else in the town, and 2 of them would be evil.
24. Capital punishment would be legal.
25. People will get hanged for seeming to aggressive or being a recluse.
26. The Courts would be out of a job.
27. Actors would be much more rare than they are today.
28. Frogs would talk.
29. Upick would punch a hole through time.
30. People with speech impediments would be asked if they had a "post restriction."
31. The penalty for lying would be the death penalty
32. Confused Floridians would lynch Al Gore then demand a recount
33. Police officers that insisted on always being in uniform would have a tragically short life expectancy
34. Hospitals would become a thing of the past because all the doctors will have gone into hiding
35. Psychologists would have a 100% success rate in treating cannibals.