Furry

I play erratic. Nough' said. Its the non-play stuff that makes me Furry.

Im 21, im in college and working, yes im gay, yes im pretty much a furry. Accepted my sexuality back in high school, was the first time ive ever really been much of an outcast. I was never popular by any means, but it was my first lesson in life being harsh, and people not being accepting of who I really was. People I considered friends really stopped talking to me, life was different. College came though, which has been a labor in it own.

At this point I had really realized that me being me results in a whole lot of emotional pain. I get ignored, laughed at, discriminated against, its enough to really start to drive you over the edge. So I left the old me back in high school, and have moved on. Three years have passed, I have my friends, no one knows that im gay. People makes jokes about it given that im the only one really who isnt in a relationship, but I just go along with it. I dont want a repete of what had already happened in life. My way of avoiding the problem though has almost made me hate myself to an extent. I have no idea what song ive heard has the line "Who I am hates who ive been", but that is a perfect example of what is going on here.

Who I act like is not who I really am. At times I will scurry off to San Fransico and I can more be who I really am, but thats rare. With having to put on a facade at school and work, its almost like a little personal hell I have made for myself. The fear of showing the real me to people is something that I really cant get past, so I end up basically living a lie for most of the time. Its rough, its depressing, but its all I cn do it seems.