WIFOMproducts®

WIFOMproducts® are a line of convenience products which have grown significantly in popularity over the past few years. They are sold mostly to conniving scum, but can also be pawned off on stupid townies if an opportunity presents itself. Invariably, each of these products is inherently rich in WIFOM content, being heavily prescribed by medical doctors and psychologists alike. In some instances, certain WIFOMproducts® have been known to cause serious side effects such as decreasing constructive mental activity, causing altercations between users, and notably, creating pointlessly cyclical arguments which can only lead to even more WIFOM. Great care should be taken whenever using these products, and they should be used only as advised.

Current product listing

• WIFOMpossibilities™ -

The most basic of the WIFOMproducts® (but still a best-seller!), a WIFOMpossibility™ at its core is a ridiculous premise. But it is so much more than that. This premise must only be viable when mixed with our secret blend of WIFOM, a brain fart or two, and an undisclosed amount of mind-numbingly random speculation. If it can be believed otherwise, it is probably an impostor, and therefore not a name-brand WIFOMpossibility™. Watch out for cheap knockoffs that disguise themselves as WIFOMproducts®.

• WIFOMdata™ -

The chief source of being behind most (if not all) WIFOMproducts®, WIFOMdata™ is the very crux of what fallacious arguments are made from. It is a rare mineral, seldom found in nature and difficult to come by, even with earnest seeking. However, WIFOMdata™ is nonetheless highly sought-after by acolytes of its self-evident pretense of actual conclusive evidence.

• WIFOMbuckets™ -

Very handy to have when you are trying to process large quantities of WIFOMdata™, our patented WIFOMbuckets™ have it all. Whether you need the carrying space to surprise your friends with mass amounts of WIFOMspeculation™, or even if you just want to carry a few WIFOMsandwiches™ with you to work, the WIFOMbucket™ is a patented, guaranteed, tried and true method of carrying your favorite WIFOMproducts® with you wherever you go. Comes also in a Deluxe version with a chrome handle, which is useful for deflecting light into the eyes of the people you may be trying to deceive at the moment.

• WIFOMsandwich™ -

Our first foray as a company into the competitive arena of processed edibles, the WIFOMsandwich™ is both delicious and affordable! Another product conceived from the minds of our relentless marketing division, we've contracted health experts to make sure that this little baby is packed with nutritional value and plenty of tasty WIFOM. Want to grab a bite to eat on the way to the office? Want to chow down on a snack after a fierce argument on whether you've been killing people at night again? Once it's evident you're eating a delicious WIFOMsandwich™, everyone's gonna want a bite.

• WIFOMspiral™ -

A potent mix of WIFOM that leads trickily to even more WIFOM; this is an ingeniously conceived and one of our most finely-crafted WIFOMproducts®. Carefully blended by our top architects, a true WIFOMspiral™ will recursively reflect itself and other WIFOM arguments with the appearance of providing a solid argument. However, studies show that a properly concocted WIFOMspiral™ will not only NOT provide a solid argument, but will draw the agitator into an ever-kindling spiral which will lead to more WIFOM. Ultimately, attempting to comprehend the tangled morass of WIFOM mixed with seemingly stable expostulation will result in decreased cogitative abilities, a heightened level of vexation, and in some extreme cases even has the opposite effect of solely producing stoic apathy.