Furry

I play erratic. 'Nough said. Its the non-play stuff that makes me Furry.

I'm 21, I'm in college and working, yes I'm gay, yes im pretty much a furry. Accepted my sexuality back in high school, was the first time I've ever really been much of an outcast. I was never popular by any means, but it was my first lesson in life being harsh, and people not being accepting of who I really was. People I considered friends really stopped talking to me, life was different. College came though, which has been a labor in it own.

At this point I had really realized that me being me results in a whole lot of emotional pain. I get ignored, laughed at, discriminated against, its enough to really start to drive you over the edge. So I left the old me back in high school, and have moved on. Three years have passed, I have my friends, no one knows that im gay. People makes jokes about it given that im the only one really who isn't in a relationship, but I just go along with it. I don't want a repeat of what had already happened in life. My way of avoiding the problem though has almost made me hate myself to an extent. I have no idea what song ive heard has the line "Who I am hates who I've been", but that is a perfect example of what is going on here.

Who I act like is not who I really am. At times I will scurry off to San Fransisco and I can more be who I really am, but that's rare. With having to put on a facade at school and work, its almost like a little personal hell I have made for myself. The fear of showing the real me to people is something that I really cant get past, so I end up basically living a lie for most of the time. Its rough, its depressing, but its all I can do it seems.