Xyzzy

Summary

XYZZY <3'S AIMEE

Xyzzy is a very excellent user; moreso than you, at least.

He is going to mod a game about /cows soon. It's called Fish Monkey God.

Other Miscellaneous Facts

He is awesome.

He is always lynched day 2 in Scumchat.

No, seriously, he is ALWAYS lynched day 2 in Scumchat. I am not. Even. Kidding.

This statement is a lie.

His favorite way to greet people in Scumchat is "'Ello", a British phrase. He occasionally also speaks Piratespeak, which only has one word: "Yar!"

He often speaks in the third person.

He was dubbed "Minesweeper" by Livingod. He's also known as Uncle.

HE <3'S AIMEE!!! TO THE MAX!

Nicknames

• ZZ
• Uncle
• Xyzzy
• Idiot
• Cancer
• Plague

Trivia

Xyzzy can almost always be found in Scumchat. This is on purpose.

Quotes about Xyzzy

(02:16:35 PM) xyzzy: So, do you want more XP?
(02:16:49 PM) messengerofphate: how much for what?
(02:16:59 PM) xyzzy: You just have to answer questions
(02:17:02 PM) xyzzy: Correctly
(02:17:13 PM) xyzzy: You have infinite guesses
(02:17:16 PM) xyzzy: Alright
(02:17:20 PM) xyzzy: Question one:
(02:17:34 PM) xyzzy: How awesome am I, on a scale of 1 to 10?
(02:17:41 PM) messengerofphate: hmmm
(02:17:56 PM) messengerofphate: 1?
(02:18:00 PM) xyzzy: Wrong
(02:18:02 PM) messengerofphate: 8?
(02:18:06 PM) xyzzy: Wrong
(02:18:09 PM) messengerofphate: 11?
(02:18:12 PM) xyzzy: Right!
(02:18:32 PM) xyzzy: I'm putting these on my wiki, btw
(02:19:26 PM) xyzzy: Alright
(02:19:28 PM) messengerofphate: putting what, the logs?
(02:19:33 PM) xyzzy: Question two
(02:19:36 PM) xyzzy: yes
(02:19:46 PM) xyzzy: Under a new section called "quotes"
(02:19:59 PM) xyzzy: Alright
(02:20:03 PM) messengerofphate: put the whole thing, then.
(02:20:04 PM) xyzzy: Question two:
(02:20:12 PM) messengerofphate: 1?  No.  8?  No.  11? Yes.
(02:20:46 PM) xyzzy: You have a choice between killing mith's dog or killing mith. Assume that killing mith would result in Xyzzy's survival. What do you do?
(02:21:02 PM) messengerofphate: so let me get this straight.
(02:21:28 PM) messengerofphate: If I kill the dog, result is dead dog, no guarantee of xyzzy's survival.  If I kill mith, xyzzy's survival is guaranteed, plus dead mith
(02:21:29 PM) xyzzy: (It's one of those "morals" questions)
(02:21:38 PM) xyzzy: Correct
(02:21:43 PM) xyzzy: Which is preferable
(02:21:45 PM) messengerofphate: kill the dog
(02:21:51 PM) messengerofphate: if i kill mith, 1 person dies
(02:22:01 PM) messengerofphate: if i kill the dog, dog dies, plus chance of 1 person dying
(02:22:03 PM) xyzzy: cool, you like emotional trauma for mith
(02:22:12 PM) messengerofphate: *shrugs*  He'll get over it.
(02:22:21 PM) xyzzy: You clearly don't like mith
(02:22:25 PM) xyzzy: Alright
(02:22:29 PM) xyzzy: Question three:
(02:23:12 PM) xyzzy: You have 2 boats that can hold 10 people each. Xyzzy and 25 other survivors want on. How many people will have to be off a boat?
(02:23:37 PM) messengerofphate: They're designed to hold 10 people, or 10 people is the absolute maximum?
(02:23:51 PM) xyzzy: 10 is the maximum
(02:24:02 PM) messengerofphate: am i included in these 25 others?
(02:24:05 PM) xyzzy: Otherwise the universe will explode
(02:24:09 PM) xyzzy: Yes
(02:24:20 PM) messengerofphate: Hmm.
(02:24:22 PM) xyzzy: You're "coordinating"
(02:24:31 PM) xyzzy: It's simple math
(02:24:39 PM) messengerofphate: 26 people, 2 boats of 10 each
(02:25:03 PM) messengerofphate: i'd put 10 people on each boat, plus 3 hanging off each boat, and rotate who gets to hold onto the side every hour or so
(02:25:16 PM) xyzzy: You can't do that
(02:25:21 PM) messengerofphate: and why not?
(02:25:25 PM) xyzzy: If oyu do the universe will explode
(02:25:27 PM) xyzzy: Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh
(02:25:29 PM) messengerofphate: damn.
(02:25:46 PM) xyzzy: How many people will die?
(02:25:50 PM) xyzzy: Just answer
(02:25:52 PM) messengerofphate: then i'd take the 6 people who looked like they were most likely to seize my position and throw them to the sharks
(02:26:09 PM) xyzzy: So, 6 people will die, you say?
(02:26:17 PM) messengerofphate: they'll all die eventually
(02:26:21 PM) messengerofphate: give it a century
(02:26:22 PM) xyzzy: Wrong
(02:26:30 PM) xyzzy: 15 of them will die
(02:26:39 PM) xyzzy: Xyzzy gets a boat all to himself
(02:26:50 PM) xyzzy: Because he's the best
(02:26:52 PM) messengerofphate: pfft.  fuck that.
(02:26:57 PM) xyzzy: Alright, try again
(02:27:03 PM) xyzzy: How many will die, and why?
(02:27:25 PM) messengerofphate: 6 will die, very likely including xyzzy, because they seem likely to take my position as coordinator
(02:27:29 PM) messengerofphate: =P
(02:27:34 PM) xyzzy: Wrong
(02:27:46 PM) xyzzy: You don't get the PX unless you answer right
(02:27:54 PM) messengerofphate: lol.  Fuck the PX.
(02:28:07 PM) xyzzy: And if you don't reach level 2 you'll die too
(02:28:21 PM) xyzzy: FX is important
(02:28:25 PM) xyzzy: Err
(02:28:28 PM) messengerofphate: lol
(02:28:29 PM) xyzzy: EX
(02:28:31 PM) xyzzy: XP
(02:28:36 PM) messengerofphate: everybody's gotta die sometime
(02:28:39 PM) xyzzy: WHATEVER IT'S CALLED
(02:28:58 PM) xyzzy: Unless you discover an Amulet of Immortality
(02:29:09 PM) messengerofphate: there is that
(02:29:12 PM) xyzzy: Or philosopher's stone
(02:29:36 PM) xyzzy: Also, neopets never die even if you don't feed them
(02:29:39 PM) messengerofphate: or sorceror's stone if you're a stupid american.
(02:29:43 PM) messengerofphate: which is creepy
(02:29:46 PM) xyzzy: QUESTION NUMBER FOUR:
(02:30:14 PM) xyzzy: How much chuck could a chuck wood wood if a chuck wood could wood chuck?
(02:30:34 PM) messengerofphate: I think you'll find the answer in the following question:
(02:30:47 PM) messengerofphate: How many boards would the Mongols hoard if the Mongol hordes got bored?
(02:31:10 PM) xyzzy: While quoting Calvin is super fun, the correct answer was "Xyzzy is awesome"
(02:31:16 PM) xyzzy: Try again?
(02:32:31 PM) xyzzy: No?
(02:32:41 PM) xyzzy: Question 5
(02:32:43 PM) messengerofphate: AWAITING QUESTION FIVE.
(02:32:56 PM) xyzzy: What was the answer to the preceding question?
(02:33:11 PM) messengerofphate: [14:28] messengerofphate: I think you'll find the answer in the following question:
[14:28] messengerofphate: How many boards would the Mongols hoard if the Mongol hordes got bored?
(02:33:17 PM) xyzzy: No
(02:33:22 PM) xyzzy: That's actually wrong
(02:33:27 PM) xyzzy: But nice try
(02:33:36 PM) xyzzy: The correct answer was "Xyzzy is awesome"
(02:34:31 PM) xyzzy: Question #6: Cloud and Sephiroth are doing battle on the moon, when suddenly Genis and Presea kill your mom. What is the answer?
(02:34:45 PM) messengerofphate: Hm, let me think about this one.
(02:35:11 PM) messengerofphate: "I'm here to kick butt and chew bubble gum, and I'm all out of bubble gum!"
(02:35:55 PM) xyzzy: While quoting Lil' Bush is almost as fun as quoting Calvin, the correct answer was "have my children, Xyzzy"
(02:36:21 PM) xyzzy: Question #7: What is the answer to the ultimate question of life the universe and everytihng?
(02:37:27 PM) messengerofphate: hmm.
(02:37:32 PM) messengerofphate: with or without inflation?
(02:37:41 PM) xyzzy: Without
(02:37:47 PM) messengerofphate: 42
(02:38:01 PM) xyzzy: Wrong
(02:38:11 PM) xyzzy: The correct answer was "Xyzzy"
(02:38:19 PM) messengerofphate: actually
(02:38:28 PM) xyzzy: Question 8: Why aren't you getting any of these right?
(02:38:35 PM) messengerofphate: you may have something there, if my knowledge of zork serves me right
(02:38:43 PM) messengerofphate: Answer to question 8:
(02:38:55 PM) messengerofphate: all my answers except for 7 have been correct
(02:39:39 PM) xyzzy: Wrong
(02:39:54 PM) xyzzy: The correct answer was "I <3 Xyzzy!!!!!"
(02:40:03 PM) xyzzy: 2 more questions!
(02:40:08 PM) messengerofphate: Wrong.  anything with <3 is wrong by default
(02:40:09 PM) xyzzy: Good luck!
(02:40:22 PM) xyzzy: 9. Why is <3 so full of win?
(02:40:41 PM) messengerofphate: Answer:  Shanba?  (Note: the question mark is part of the answer)
(02:40:49 PM) xyzzy: Wrong
(02:41:03 PM) xyzzy: The correct answer is "Because Xyzzy says so"
(02:41:08 PM) xyzzy: Question 10:
(02:41:11 PM) xyzzy: Xyzzy?
(02:41:19 PM) messengerofphate: hang on, this is a hard one.
(02:41:20 PM) messengerofphate: hmm
(02:41:32 PM) messengerofphate: ok, i know that ecks why zee zee why isn't the answer
(02:41:42 PM) messengerofphate: Ok, i'm not sure about this one, but i'll go with...
(02:41:44 PM) messengerofphate: Zai-Zai.
(02:41:48 PM) xyzzy: Wrong
(02:41:53 PM) xyzzy: The correct answer
(02:42:02 PM) xyzzy: Was "Yes, I'd love some"
(02:42:08 PM) xyzzy: Well
(02:42:21 PM) xyzzy: You've been valiant in your cause
(02:42:37 PM) xyzzy: But that netted you 4 out of 675 possilbe XP
(02:42:45 PM) messengerofphate: i'm up to 15
(02:42:45 PM) xyzzy: Try again later?
(02:42:49 PM) messengerofphate: sure
(02:42:53 PM) xyzzy: Cool

(03:01:59 PM) jdodge1019: xyzzy is teh win.  <3!!!!!11!

A PHONE CALL BY XYZZY AND BRUTAL ASSASSIN, TRANSCRIBED:

Xyzzy: I'm gonna transcribe this
BA: What's the point of having a phone if you're never gonna answer?
Xyzzy: It's always on silent
<laughter ensues at this highly nonhumorous statement>
BA: Disappointing. <Laughs> Dis... app... ointing.