Xyzzy

XYZZY <3'S AIMEE

Xyzzy is a very excellent user; moreso than you, at least.

/cows

Xyzzy is very /cows. When everyone heard this they went

lolwut?

and so he responded

ZOMG

!!1!!1 He is going to mod a game about /cows soon. It's called Fish Monkey God.

Other Miscellaneous Facts

He is awesome.

He is always lynched day 2 in Scumchat.

No, seriously, he is ALWAYS lynched day 2 in Scumchat. I am not. Even. Kidding.

This statement is a lie.

His favorite way to greet people in Scumchat is "'Ello", a British phrase. He occasionally also speaks Piratespeak, which only has one word: "Yar!"

He often speaks in the third person.

He was dubbed "Minesweeper" by Livingod. He's also known as Uncle.

HE <3'S AIMEE!!! TO THE MAX!

Nicknames

ZZ

Uncle

Xyzzy

Idiot

Cancer

Plague

Trivia

Xyzzy can almost always be found in Scumchat. This is on purpose.

Quotesd about Xyzzy

(02:16:35 PM) xyzzy: So, do you want more XP? (02:16:49 PM) messengerofphate: how much for what? (02:16:59 PM) xyzzy: You just have to answer questions (02:17:02 PM) xyzzy: Correctly (02:17:13 PM) xyzzy: You have infinite guesses (02:17:16 PM) xyzzy: Alright (02:17:20 PM) xyzzy: Question one: (02:17:34 PM) xyzzy: How awesome am I, on a scale of 1 to 10? (02:17:41 PM) messengerofphate: hmmm (02:17:56 PM) messengerofphate: 1? (02:18:00 PM) xyzzy: Wrong (02:18:02 PM) messengerofphate: 8? (02:18:06 PM) xyzzy: Wrong (02:18:09 PM) messengerofphate: 11? (02:18:12 PM) xyzzy: Right! (02:18:32 PM) xyzzy: I'm putting these on my wiki, btw (02:19:26 PM) xyzzy: Alright (02:19:28 PM) messengerofphate: putting what, the logs? (02:19:33 PM) xyzzy: Question two (02:19:36 PM) xyzzy: yes (02:19:46 PM) xyzzy: Under a new section called "quotes" (02:19:59 PM) xyzzy: Alright (02:20:03 PM) messengerofphate: put the whole thing, then. (02:20:04 PM) xyzzy: Question two: (02:20:12 PM) messengerofphate: 1? No. 8? No. 11? Yes. (02:20:46 PM) xyzzy: You have a choice between killing mith's dog or killing mith. Assume that killing mith would result in Xyzzy's survival. What do you do? (02:21:02 PM) messengerofphate: so let me get this straight. (02:21:28 PM) messengerofphate: If I kill the dog, result is dead dog, no guarantee of xyzzy's survival. If I kill mith, xyzzy's survival is guaranteed, plus dead mith (02:21:29 PM) xyzzy: (It's one of those "morals" questions) (02:21:38 PM) xyzzy: Correct (02:21:43 PM) xyzzy: Which is preferable (02:21:45 PM) messengerofphate: kill the dog (02:21:51 PM) messengerofphate: if i kill mith, 1 person dies (02:22:01 PM) messengerofphate: if i kill the dog, dog dies, plus chance of 1 person dying (02:22:03 PM) xyzzy: cool, you like emotional trauma for mith (02:22:12 PM) messengerofphate: *shrugs* He'll get over it. (02:22:21 PM) xyzzy: You clearly don't like mith (02:22:25 PM) xyzzy: Alright (02:22:29 PM) xyzzy: Question three: (02:23:12 PM) xyzzy: You have 2 boats that can hold 10 people each. Xyzzy and 25 other survivors want on. How many people will have to be off a boat? (02:23:37 PM) messengerofphate: They're designed to hold 10 people, or 10 people is the absolute maximum? (02:23:51 PM) xyzzy: 10 is the maximum (02:24:02 PM) messengerofphate: am i included in these 25 others? (02:24:05 PM) xyzzy: Otherwise the universe will explode (02:24:09 PM) xyzzy: Yes (02:24:20 PM) messengerofphate: Hmm. (02:24:22 PM) xyzzy: You're "coordinating" (02:24:31 PM) xyzzy: It's simple math (02:24:39 PM) messengerofphate: 26 people, 2 boats of 10 each (02:25:03 PM) messengerofphate: i'd put 10 people on each boat, plus 3 hanging off each boat, and rotate who gets to hold onto the side every hour or so (02:25:16 PM) xyzzy: You can't do that (02:25:21 PM) messengerofphate: and why not? (02:25:25 PM) xyzzy: If oyu do the universe will explode (02:25:27 PM) xyzzy: Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh (02:25:29 PM) messengerofphate: damn. (02:25:46 PM) xyzzy: How many people will die? (02:25:50 PM) xyzzy: Just answer (02:25:52 PM) messengerofphate: then i'd take the 6 people who looked like they were most likely to seize my position and throw them to the sharks (02:26:09 PM) xyzzy: So, 6 people will die, you say? (02:26:17 PM) messengerofphate: they'll all die eventually (02:26:21 PM) messengerofphate: give it a century (02:26:22 PM) xyzzy: Wrong (02:26:30 PM) xyzzy: 15 of them will die (02:26:39 PM) xyzzy: Xyzzy gets a boat all to himself (02:26:50 PM) xyzzy: Because he's the best (02:26:52 PM) messengerofphate: pfft. fuck that. (02:26:57 PM) xyzzy: Alright, try again (02:27:03 PM) xyzzy: How many will die, and why? (02:27:25 PM) messengerofphate: 6 will die, very likely including xyzzy, because they seem likely to take my position as coordinator (02:27:29 PM) messengerofphate: =P (02:27:34 PM) xyzzy: Wrong (02:27:46 PM) xyzzy: You don't get the PX unless you answer right (02:27:54 PM) messengerofphate: lol. Fuck the PX. (02:28:07 PM) xyzzy: And if you don't reach level 2 you'll die too (02:28:21 PM) xyzzy: FX is important (02:28:25 PM) xyzzy: Err (02:28:28 PM) messengerofphate: lol (02:28:29 PM) xyzzy: EX (02:28:31 PM) xyzzy: XP (02:28:36 PM) messengerofphate: everybody's gotta die sometime (02:28:39 PM) xyzzy: WHATEVER IT'S CALLED (02:28:58 PM) xyzzy: Unless you discover an Amulet of Immortality (02:29:09 PM) messengerofphate: there is that (02:29:12 PM) xyzzy: Or philosopher's stone (02:29:36 PM) xyzzy: Also, neopets never die even if you don't feed them (02:29:39 PM) messengerofphate: or sorceror's stone if you're a stupid american. (02:29:43 PM) messengerofphate: which is creepy (02:29:46 PM) xyzzy: QUESTION NUMBER FOUR: (02:30:14 PM) xyzzy: How much chuck could a chuck wood wood if a chuck wood could wood chuck? (02:30:34 PM) messengerofphate: I think you'll find the answer in the following question: (02:30:47 PM) messengerofphate: How many boards would the Mongols hoard if the Mongol hordes got bored? (02:31:10 PM) xyzzy: While quoting Calvin is super fun, the correct answer was "Xyzzy is awesome" (02:31:16 PM) xyzzy: Try again? (02:32:31 PM) xyzzy: No? (02:32:41 PM) xyzzy: Question 5 (02:32:43 PM) messengerofphate: AWAITING QUESTION FIVE. (02:32:56 PM) xyzzy: What was the answer to the preceding question? (02:33:11 PM) messengerofphate: [14:28] messengerofphate: I think you'll find the answer in the following question: [14:28] messengerofphate: How many boards would the Mongols hoard if the Mongol hordes got bored? (02:33:17 PM) xyzzy: No (02:33:22 PM) xyzzy: That's actually wrong (02:33:27 PM) xyzzy: But nice try (02:33:36 PM) xyzzy: The correct answer was "Xyzzy is awesome" (02:34:31 PM) xyzzy: Question #6: Cloud and Sephiroth are doing battle on the moon, when suddenly Genis and Presea kill your mom. What is the answer? (02:34:45 PM) messengerofphate: Hm, let me think about this one. (02:35:11 PM) messengerofphate: "I'm here to kick butt and chew bubble gum, and I'm all out of bubble gum!" (02:35:55 PM) xyzzy: While quoting Lil' Bush is almost as fun as quoting Calvin, the correct answer was "have my children, Xyzzy" (02:36:21 PM) xyzzy: Question #7: What is the answer to the ultimate question of life the universe and everytihng? (02:37:27 PM) messengerofphate: hmm. (02:37:32 PM) messengerofphate: with or without inflation? (02:37:41 PM) xyzzy: Without (02:37:47 PM) messengerofphate: 42 (02:38:01 PM) xyzzy: Wrong (02:38:11 PM) xyzzy: The correct answer was "Xyzzy" (02:38:19 PM) messengerofphate: actually (02:38:28 PM) xyzzy: Question 8: Why aren't you getting any of these right? (02:38:35 PM) messengerofphate: you may have something there, if my knowledge of zork serves me right (02:38:43 PM) messengerofphate: Answer to question 8: (02:38:55 PM) messengerofphate: all my answers except for 7 have been correct (02:39:39 PM) xyzzy: Wrong (02:39:54 PM) xyzzy: The correct answer was "I <3 Xyzzy!!!!!" (02:40:03 PM) xyzzy: 2 more questions! (02:40:08 PM) messengerofphate: Wrong. anything with <3 is wrong by default (02:40:09 PM) xyzzy: Good luck! (02:40:22 PM) xyzzy: 9. Why is <3 so full of win? (02:40:41 PM) messengerofphate: Answer: Shanba? (Note: the question mark is part of the answer) (02:40:49 PM) xyzzy: Wrong (02:41:03 PM) xyzzy: The correct answer is "Because Xyzzy says so" (02:41:08 PM) xyzzy: Question 10: (02:41:11 PM) xyzzy: Xyzzy? (02:41:19 PM) messengerofphate: hang on, this is a hard one. (02:41:20 PM) messengerofphate: hmm (02:41:32 PM) messengerofphate: ok, i know that ecks why zee zee why isn't the answer (02:41:42 PM) messengerofphate: Ok, i'm not sure about this one, but i'll go with... (02:41:44 PM) messengerofphate: Zai-Zai. (02:41:48 PM) xyzzy: Wrong (02:41:53 PM) xyzzy: The correct answer (02:42:02 PM) xyzzy: Was "Yes, I'd love some" (02:42:08 PM) xyzzy: Well (02:42:21 PM) xyzzy: You've been valiant in your cause (02:42:37 PM) xyzzy: But that netted you 4 out of 675 possilbe XP (02:42:45 PM) messengerofphate: i'm up to 15 (02:42:45 PM) xyzzy: Try again later? (02:42:49 PM) messengerofphate: sure (02:42:53 PM) xyzzy: Cool

(03:01:59 PM) jdodge1019: xyzzy is teh win. <3!!!!!11!

A PHONE CALL BY XYZZY AND BRUTAL ASSASSIN, TRANSCRIBED:

Xyzzy: I'm gonna transcribe this BA: What's the point of having a phone if you're never gonna answer? Xyzzy: It's always on silent <laughter ensues at this highly nonhumorous statement> BA: Disappointing. <Laughs> Dis... app... ointing.